Nowhere Girl (Foundlings Book 1) Page 8

  I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t believe the way they were talking about Michelle and Olivia, especially Olivia. They were nice girls who stayed out of trouble, luckily for them. Olivia was cute and sweet. She was a good friend to Sophia.

  “Jamie,” Luke shook my shoulder. “You in there?”

  “Huh?”

  “Man,” Owen was laughing again while reaching for his buzzing phone. “You’re on another planet. What the heck is going on in that mind of yours?”

  “Girl trouble.”

  “Hardly,” I snapped at Luke.

  “Jameson doesn’t date,” Luke whispered, inhaling between his teeth. “We need to do something about that. He needs to take the edge off somehow. Pretty soon or you’ll drive us nuts too. Better yet, just go hang out with our girlfriends and be nuts together.”

  “They’re not nuts,” I quietly protested, shocking myself with my defense of Michelle.

  “Hey, Owen, isn’t that Olivia’s car?” Luke pointed toward the black Mini with three marathon race stickers along the bumper.

  Owen’s face lit up like a kid on Christmas and I have to admit I felt an all-too-familiar sense of something in my stomach. It was like a marriage between anxiety and longing, all tortuously withheld. They quickened their pace, eager to see where Olivia was. From across the street, they scanned the storefronts.

  I felt her before I knew she was there. There was an energy, a familiar vigor that pulled at my heart and I knew exactly where to look. It didn’t help that Olivia and Sophia were sitting in the front window of the coffee shop.

  I let Owen and Luke walk ahead of me while I leaned against the driver’s side of my car, watching like an idiot. They moved in slow motion, as if I was being taunted and challenged not to follow Owen and Luke inside. I could clearly see Soph’s face as she sat opposite Olivia and the window. There was someone else with them, off to the right, who I couldn’t quite make out.

  Olivia’s hands were enthusiastically animated, as she must have been telling a story. Whatever it was, Soph laughed, her head flew back and she had to clutch her mouth in response. If only I could make her laugh like that. If only I had the reassurance to prove things would be safe for her once we were comfortable enough to laugh like that. As the laughing calmed, Sophia pulled her hair into a tighter ponytail and spoke about something. Watching her lips move without sound was mesmerizing.

  What was I doing? I couldn’t just stand here and watch her like a frea—Derek? She’s out with Olivia and Derek?

  My pulse began to race, pounding into my brain. What was I supposed to do now? Run in there and take her away? Oh my god, how I wanted to. Sophia was laughing again, and when Olivia shifted out of their small booth I noticed Derek’s hand covered Sophia’s wrist for a split second. I didn’t trust Derek. Not only was he a sleazebag who had tried to get with Olivia for the last year, he had no right to Sophia.

  I looked away from the window, trying to collect my racing thoughts so I wouldn’t storm in there and throw Derek to the ground for his existence. When I turned back, Sophia was gone. My body jerked from my car, unconsciously taking a step toward the coffee shop. I saw Owen go inside and grab on to Olivia, which sent her into a fit of giggles. It was cute for a second. I have to stop this. What am I doing?

  I squeezed my eyes shut and rubbed my temples, hoping to teleport myself home. No use. Reluctantly, I got into my car and thanked myself for the tinted windows. They started piling out of the shop, first Derek and Owen, then Olivia and Sophia. Olivia and Sophia were holding each other, walking along the sidewalk in a hug. They were both laughing again, almost uncontrollably. She looked happy. Genuinely.

  Her skirt caught my attention, and I’m sure also Derek’s. It was short and red like a piece of candy. Dammit. I could see half of her thigh. Sophia’s legs…she shouldn’t dress like that around other guys. Other guys? Would you listen to yourself, man? I hadn’t noticed it in class and I was right next to her. I always noticed things about Sophia. I must have been too busy looking at her face to notice her clothes. That, and the fact I was trying my best to get a rise out of her.

  I would have done anything to hear her laugh like I saw her laugh tonight. I had to drive away, but they’d see my car and I didn’t want to upset Sophia. Let her go.

  I waited for Sophia to climb on her bike and start pedaling away, but it wasn’t out there. Owen had his arm around her too, but Sophia was quickly replaced with Olivia. Olivia unlocked the car and I watched Owen climb into the backseat. It wasn’t until Derek hugged Sophia that I turned on my car and drove back home.

  Dammit. I was getting more pissed off with every stupid red light that interrupted my route home.

  Home. What a joke that was.

  Once I pulled up to the ivory tower and its fancy security gate, I entered the passcode and glided into my parking spot next to the garage. I could tell nobody was home when I had to enter the house passcode before going inside. I flew up the stairs, taking three at a time, and slammed my bedroom door.

  I hated that room. I hated the vacancy spread throughout the entire house. I was going crazy in there, thinking of Sophia while trying desperately not to think of Sophia…and her red skirt…and Derek’s hands on her…and Sophia.

  I didn’t even know her. How am I supposed to pretend I don’t care for her and just let her be happy? She would be better off without me. She would be happier without my demons pulling her into the depths with me…but I couldn’t stay away. She was Sophia. I needed to apologize. I had to make it up to her. I needed her forgiveness.

  I spent my evening in a house of ten bedrooms all by myself. I did everything I could to not think of Sophia or the other memories haunting me, but they were only distracted for minutes at a time. Eventually, I took a shower and started packing for the weekend, knowing it was futile to even pretend Sophia and my past weren’t colliding in a vicious storm.

  I tossed around my bed all night, floundering like a beached fish in search of something…or someone. The tightness in my chest was suffocating me, squeezing every ounce of air from my lungs as it clenched me against myself. I told myself to breathe through it, but I only found myself huddled in a lonely ball in the center of my bed, crying out for her…both of them.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  SOPHIA

  Getting through our French notes and studying for the exam proved to be a challenge because Olivia had turned into a comedian while we were stuffed around the table in the window of the coffee shop. Everything made her giggle, which naturally made Derek and I erupt into supportive and appreciative laughter.

  She was bringing out a side of me that I had subdued, buried deep away…or hadn’t experienced much in Oregon because bringing anyone around home hadn’t been an option, and now I felt even more conflicted, but Olivia’s unquestioning acceptance of me temporarily reminded me it was okay to be eighteen and laugh.

  I still felt guilty laughing, or having fun at all, because any moment I was thinking about myself meant I wasn’t thinking about my mom.

  “When we’re done with the exam, one of us need to remind Madame Louise the purpose of hair dye or something.” Olivia snorted as she laughed. “Because she’s starting to look a lot like Marie Antoinette!”

  “Olivia.” I laughed, trying to hush her with my hand on her wrist.

  It was a stupid, offensive joke, but it had my head knocked backward in a fit of giggles. Olivia’s humor had filled me with medicine and I had to cover my mouth to come back to reality. There was no point in studying for Thursday’s test. We were done: D-O-N-E.

  I missed having hot chocolate, something I often did in Oregon, and I think the barista thought I was crazy for ordering one. It sat below my face, the remnants steaming heavenly in a wide blue mug. I glanced across the table at Olivia as her laughter began subsiding. The sun was beginning to chase the moon, and through the window behind Olivia, I could see some of the patriotic lights flash on along storefronts outside. I pulled my hair into a tighter ponytail, watching
Derek and Olivia finish their drinks.

  “They really do Memorial Day down here, don’t they?”

  “Any holiday is celebrated,” Derek replied between sips of his lemonade, “People like having fun. It’s the beach or something.”

  “Should we go?” Olivia nodded toward me, swiping the screen on her cell phone, “It’s after five. Will your aunt be upset?”

  “Probably,” I lied, “but I’ll manage. She’s probably too busy cultivating her hippy herbs to notice my absence in the first place.”

  I giggled, thinking about Jules and what a stereotype she was. I glided from the booth, making way for Olivia to follow me. She mumbled something while she scoured her bag for her car keys.

  “Oh,” I reached for the table, “the bill.”

  As my hand moved toward the case containing our receipt, Derek’s hand grasped my wrist. It left as quickly as it had held me, and he pulled the case away from my hand while placing some cash inside.

  “My treat.” He smiled at me.

  “Such a gentleman,” Olivia teased. “Thank you, Derek. Now let’s hope that somehow we pass this exam. Come on, Sophia. I’ll drive you home.”

  Her keychain jingled in her hand as she pointed toward the door, but she began to squeal when the door opened and Owen stepped inside. His arms wrapped around Olivia in a tight squeeze that forced pleasured laughter to pour from her mouth. Normally, this would have grossed me out, but Olivia and Owen were adorable.

  “What are you doing here?” Olivia squealed, clinging to Owen.

  “I was at dinner.” He kissed her forehead. “I saw your car and wanted to surprise you. Hi, Sophia. Hey, Derek.”

  “Hi,” Derek and I replied in unison. He glanced at me, exchanging a commiserating look as we watched Olivia and Owen kiss twice more.

  “Time to go,” I whispered in Olivia’s ear as she was mesmerized by Owen’s face. She turned to me, smiling apologetically, and patted Derek on the shoulder.

  “Lead the way, boys.”

  Owen held the door open for Derek, who stepped out first, and Owen followed. Olivia wrapped her arm around my waist and it felt natural to return her affection.

  “He is so cute,” she sighed, leaning her head against my shoulder as we stepped onto the sidewalk. “I’m so smitten.”

  “Meow,” I teased. “The smitten kitten.”

  She giggled, causing my giggle to fall like a domino. As Owen approached Olivia again, Luke stepped forward from the sidewalk.

  “Hey…” Olivia smiled at Luke. “What are you doing here?”

  “We had dinner.”

  “Oh.” Olivia grinned when Owen’s arm wrapped around her and I silently stepped aside. “Well we’re actually going home now.”

  “Take me with you,” Owen pleaded. “I don’t want to follow Luke to Michelle’s.”

  “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Derek waved, having stood silently during Olivia’s exchange with Luke and Owen, before turning to me. “Goodnight, Sophia.”

  “Goodnight, Derek.”

  He inched toward us and placed his arms around me in a quick, purposeful hug, and demonstrated the same affection toward Olivia. It wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted someone else to hold me, to hug me, to show me that gesture.

  “Goodnight, Derek,” Olivia called, waving as he walked away. “Okay, Owen, backseat. Sophia gets shotgun.”

  With my head resting against the seat in Olivia’s Mini, I exhaled. The smile on my lips faded as I thought back to school, forgetting about the fun we had at the coffee shop. I wanted to turn and talk to her about Jameson, about how confused I was at his behavior at school and everything else, but there wasn’t a point. It wasn’t a mystery for me to solve. Of course it didn’t help that Owen was in the backseat, forcing my thoughts to flicker to Jameson. I hoped maybe they had been together or we might even run into Jameson on our way home, but his name wasn’t brought up and we spent the ride back to my house discussing our schedule for finals. Seventeen days until I could go.

  ***

  I was prepared for Wednesday. I psyched myself up, telling myself that, despite my apprehensions, I would talk to Jameson and he might be normal again instead of yelling at me like a child because I accidentally bumped into him. Well, to be fair, I did seem prone to being blindsided by his chest, but he saw me coming, so he should have moved.

  On the other hand, I couldn’t deny that my brain was acting like a hormonally charged maniac who was magnetically attracted to what I couldn’t, and shouldn’t, have.

  First period French was a blissfully easy review for Thursday’s exam. I was surprised in my confidence about the test, and I know studying with Olivia and Derek helped.

  Lunch peeled at my nerves, hearing Luke discuss Jameson and how he was at school, but by the time seventh period rolled around, he never showed. Some protector.

  ***

  The doorbell buzzed, pulling me from the daydream about Oregon as I floated in the bubble bath. Pulling my head from beneath the suds, I could hear the muffled sounds of Aunt Jules wandering around.

  “Sophia, darling.” She tapped on the bathroom door. “You have company.”

  “I don’t know anyone,” I objected in response, refusing to climb from the warm bubbles.

  She slowly entered the room, much to my alarm as I quickly covered my body with disappearing bubbles.

  “Oh, honey.” She giggled. “Nothing I haven’t seen before.”

  “Seriously, Jules,” I grumbled.

  She handed me a towel and pretended to avert her eyes.

  “You say you don’t know anyone, but I’m quite sure you must know Jameson Burke, otherwise I don’t know why he’s here. Again. Should I send him away?”

  Aunt Jules rested against the toilet seat, impatiently wiggling her crossed legs as she waited for my response. I was wrapping the towel around my body while she continued to muse with a delighted expression on her face.

  “Ma chère,” she continued, “It is okay to try and be happy. Being a happy eighteen-year-old girl does not mean you miss your mother any less. It does not mean you’re moving on. It doesn’t mean your feelings need to change. But you do need to live. She would want that. Don’t you think?”

  I didn’t want to live if it meant I needed to continue in a world without my mom. And how was I supposed to be excited to see Jameson when he was rude yesterday and wasn’t in class today? It didn’t matter. I still wanted to see him.

  Jules sensed my hesitation, pulling my wrists into her hands, the previous glee fading from her tanned features.

  “Darling, put on some clothes and either talk to this boy or kick him out, but you need to be the assertive one in your life now.”

  Aunt Jules rose, her peach-colored silk robe dancing with each graceful movement. She pecked me on the cheek and left the room. I could hear her mumbling continue, the wood floorboards cracking beneath weighted feet, and I began to panic.

  I sincerely struggled with unplanned, unprepared-for social situations. I needed a transition, not to be bombarded with Jules and Jameson on a random weeknight.

  I methodically braided my hair, trying to release the emotional tension I felt as I tied each strand to its partner, and tightened my towel while stepping out of the bathroom. Please don’t be anywhere near here. Please. I scurried across the floor, quickly closing my bedroom door as I exhaled ten thousand emotions once securely returned to the privacy of my small space.

  “I’m sure she’s just getting dressed,” I heard Jules in the hall outside of my door before gently knocking, “Sweetheart…”

  “Stop.” I glared at her, swinging the door open. “I’m coming.”

  “He’s outside. He had to take a phone call,” she whispered. “Why didn’t you tell me about this boy?”

  “You’re not home much,” I snapped. “And there isn’t anything to tell, Jules. I’ve known these people for a minute.”

  She eyed me suspiciously, grinning with delight before stepping away toward the kitchen. I di
dn’t want to go outside. Reluctantly, I slipped on my sandals and followed the hall to the front porch, where I froze in awe. He looked…perfect. The white t-shirt was tightly stretched across his body, hanging out from the slim jeans, and capped by blue flip-flops. The brown mop atop his head danced in the breeze, swirling the russet and gold strands, while he stood outside with his cell phone pushed against his ear.

  Jameson pressed his left hand into his hip as he spoke on the phone, balancing himself. He heard the screen door open and whizzed around, mumbling something into his phone before hanging up.

  “I need to go away for a couple of days,” he informed me before saying hello, stuffing the phone into his pocket.

  “Hi. Okay…”

  “Hi,” his head shook as he smiled. “Sorry. That was my uncle. His phone calls don’t always leave me in the happiest of moods.”

  “Okay…Did you need something, Jameson? Notes or something from British Lit?”

  He laughed at me, shaking his head and approaching me tentatively. I stiffened as Jameson’s fingers lifted to place a stray piece of hair behind my ear, his fist timidly gliding to my shoulder before returning to his pocket. He made me nervous and that was strangely uncomfortable. The last time we’d spoke, as if that would describe it, he yelled at me for crashing into him outside at school. What does he want?

  “Walk with me.” He held out his right hand, expecting me to attach myself to it.

  My gaze wandered to his hand and then back to his face. His eyes were glowing, lighting up with the flash of his grin. I took three steps ahead of him toward the street lined with palms and turned to face him, taking a deep breath to inhale some of his confidence.

  “You coming?” I asked, unable to resist the smile tempting my lips.

  “Yes,” he obliged, and met my side as we walked toward the marina one block away from Jules’s cottage.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN