Nowhere Girl (Foundlings Book 1) Read online

  When we pulled into the parking lot, Owen and Luke were standing against Luke’s car while Michelle was animatedly in conversation about something. Her ponytail flopped around as her head moved vigorously. Olivia slipped into the parking space next to Luke, coming close to swiping Michelle.

  “Good morning.” Michelle stuck her tongue out at us once we climbed from the small Mini. “Next time try not taking off my ass when you pull in.”

  “Try not standing in her parking spot.” Owen winked at her, graciously taking the cup of mocha from Olivia’s hand. He pecked her on the forehead, filling her cheeks with a sweet pink glow.

  “Hi.” She blushed, burying her face against him.

  Under normal circumstances, this would have made me vomit. I came close a few times with Michelle and Luke, but I restrained myself. Olivia’s budding romance with Owen was so perfectly innocent, untainted, and new, that I couldn’t help but feel happy for her. She made me see things vicariously through her and her feelings forced happiness down my throat.

  “Two more Tuesdays before exams,” Luke announced, “and then it’s summer time, babies.”

  “Finally,” Owen grumbled, placing an arm around Olivia’s neck and shoulders. I leaned against Olivia’s car, watching the two couples nearly grope each other, and pouted.

  “I’m a total fifth wheel now. Thanks, guys,” I dryly teased. Michelle wiggled from Luke’s arm and pulled me against her.

  “Don’t feel that way. We love you.” She kissed my temple and smiled. “You can be my plus one to anything. Luke has other friends.”

  “I’m sorry,” Olivia pleaded. “We didn’t mean to make you feel that way.”

  “I was teasing. I’m fine.” I held my hands in the air defensively. “Really.”

  “You’re not alone,” Luke said. “Jamie’s a sixth wheel.”

  “He always will be,” Michelle mocked. “Nobody dates Jameson Burke. He is unattainable, untouchable, and an ass.”

  “Jamie’s not an ass,” Olivia defended. “I like him.”

  “More than me?” Owen teased, flirting at Olivia’s side. She blushed as she rested her head against his chest.

  This was at least the third time Michelle had rudely reminded us that Jameson was off-limits, and it was starting to irritate me more than I’d thought. Was it that I felt frustrated for her, or that I, not realizing I even wanted one, wouldn’t have a chance? Shake it off. You can’t, you won’t, don’t. Just don’t.

  “Yikes.” Luke laughed uncomfortably and pulled his backpack over his left shoulder. “Bell’s going to ring. Come on.”

  As he turned and we began peeling ourselves from Luke and Olivia’s cars, the black BMW squealed into its parking spot on the other side of Luke’s car. Owen, still pulling Olivia against him, began walking away and I tried to catch up, finding my feet turned to anvils in my sandals when hurried to flee. I made it to the hood of Luke’s car when the earth stopped moving.

  “Hey, Jamie,” Luke paused while we watched Jameson and another person climb out of his car.

  “Guess I was wrong,” Michelle mumbled disapprovingly, pulling on my arm. “Let’s go.”

  I followed between Olivia and Michelle, not wishing to look back at Jameson, but I not-so-accidentally did. His arms were around one girl and Luke, all of whom were laughing. There wasn’t anything funny about that.

  “Ugh,” Olivia moaned, and I realized she had also looked back. “Estelle Lawrence. Poor souls who get caught up in her web…I pray for them.”

  “Agreed.” Michelle laughed as we walked up the steps into school.

  We exchanged farewells with Michelle and headed into French. Derek was waving as we entered, eager to include us in his conversation with two other students. Olivia obliged, enjoying socializing, but I politely smiled and pretended to study from my textbook while taking a seat.

  This day sucked—plain and simple—and it was only first period. Why was it that the smallest things perpetually ruined the rest of my existence?

  Lunch sucked too. I barely touched the peeled orange and bagel I managed to pack for myself. While Olivia and Michelle gossiped about the weekend and Owen, I nodded along silently, picking at the stringy flesh of my orange. Olivia recounted the story of Owen asking her out for the fourth time that day, and I was genuinely happy for her, but the smallest piece of it irritated me.

  Love sucked, this day sucked, and boys sucked…suck. They all still suck. I’ll just add that all to my overwhelming list of things that fuel my already-anxious heart…plus seventh period.

  “You seem off,” Olivia whispered at my side, nudging me lightly. “What’s going on?”

  “Do you ever just have one of those days?”

  “Let me guess.” Her gentle expression scrunched in sympathy, understanding my subconscious without further sound from me.

  Maybe it was the semi-traumatic childhood, maybe it was just being a kindhearted girl, but sometimes Olivia really got it and for that, I was eternally grateful. Her supportive mind didn’t require my discomfort to grow by expressing how I felt in words; she simply knew.

  “Maybe it will end better than it started.” She shrugged, sipping from her bottle of water.

  I grumbled and stood up to throw away my lunch. As much as I praised her in my mind, I was too embarrassed to admit anything, and hoped that the conversation would end there, in the trash with my orange.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  I sat down behind Derek in British Lit, forcing myself to focus only on our lesson. He turned around to greet me, a warm grin spreading along his mouth.

  “Did you finish your paper?”

  “Yes,” I replied. “You have incredibly detailed notes. Thank you for paying attention in class and for letting me reap the rewards.”

  I smiled at Derek. He was nice, and not in the annoying, fraternal way. He just seemed like a genuine, no-secrets, always there to help people, sort of guy. No-secrets.

  “You’re welcome, Sophia.” He grinned at me before standing from his desk and walking toward Mrs. Calvin when she entered the classroom.

  Her bun was disheveled and she appeared out of sorts so it was obvious that class would be delayed. Just my luck. I didn’t want anyone to approach me during this unexpected, unstructured window of time. Derek, maybe, he was in my safe zone.

  I put my head on my desk, hoping that if I couldn’t see anyone, they couldn’t see me. I wanted to appear off-limits. I willed the desk to swallow me whole, but no such luck this time.

  “Soph.” His whisper hadn’t irritated me before. “You all right under there?”

  I squeezed my eyes tightly, almost to the point of pain, and regretfully lifted my face from the wooden surface of my desk, turning to gaze into Jameson’s smiling hazel eyes. I know I appeared more impassive than usual, but I didn’t really know what feelings I was allowed to express with him anymore. Anymore—like he owed anything to me, as if I should have expected him to appreciate what it took of me to let some of my walls crumble for him at the beach.

  “You three ran away so fast this morning,” he continued, and my eyes were drawn to his mouth. “You okay?”

  “Yeah. How’s your girlfriend?” I probed, which was returned with a teasing grin and sweet rumble of his laughter.

  “Estelle? Hardly girlfriend material. Besides,” his throat cleared. “I’m not interested in her.”

  “Then why were you, her, and Luke ready to jump one another before school?” I blurted and felt the blush race along my cheeks.

  Jameson’s lips spread into a tantalizing grin as he leaned forward, almost whispering to me. The pause against his lips before he spoke violated my mind and heightened my pulse. His mouth lingered there, hovering at my ear, teasing my thoughts without sound before his words drifted out.

  “Not the case. She was asking us about your friend Derek.” His head nodded toward Derek while his eyes continued to adhere to my gaze. “And we were just messing around. But again, not interested.”

  “I�
��ll be sure to let someone who cares know about that.” I smiled at him, patting my back on the inside for the moxie that tickled my tongue.

  “Did I miss something?” Derek interrupted as he returned to his seat, noticing Jameson was still standing over me.

  Jameson continued to lean against the desk next to mine, his strapping arms now crossed against his chest. The muscles in his forearms pulled as his hands clenched into fists while Derek spoke. Weird.

  “Nope.” I sighed, pulling out my notebook and praying for Mrs. Calvin to speed up her instruction so Jameson would go back to his seat.

  “It’s nice on this side of the room,” he challenged my subconscious. “I think I’ll sit over here today.”

  My stomach wove itself into tight knots while Jameson climbed over the desk and dropped himself into the seat. He called for another student to toss his bag toward him, which she eagerly did. Derek’s eyes glanced at me with sympathy before turning around to face our teacher, who finally began her lesson.

  Mrs. Calvin was already halfway through class when I glanced at the clock, grateful to have ignored the temptation to peer toward my left. Every time he would shift in his seat, even to cough, inebriating waves of his soft spicy cologne would invade my sinuses, leaving me in a near-intoxicated stupor. The struggle was real. Don’t look.

  “In a hurry?” Jameson whispered to me, observing I had finally acknowledged something separate from Mrs. Calvin or my notebook.

  I barely glanced at him, my brow furrowed in irritation, and returned to exchanging glances with the analog clock. I could almost feel the air around me hum with Jameson’s low chuckle.

  “You’re really something, Soph.”

  “Excuse me?” I looked at him, mumbling my response.

  “Shh.” His index finger pressed against his lips, again drawing my attention to their shape. He nodded toward Mrs. Calvin. “I’m trying to pay attention.”

  His playful arrogance was obnoxiously irritating, but also…mesmerizing. Ugh! As soon as Mrs. Calvin dismissed us, I raced from the room. I tried not to make it look like I was avoiding Jameson, which I guess I sort of was, but rather like I had places to go and people to see. I was one of the first students out of the building, barely stuffing my notebook into my backpack as I approached the bike racks.

  I had no way to get home. I had forgotten Olivia picked me up. I stared at the lonely bikes, unable to consider my new route home. Any attempt at escape was paused when Olivia and Derek caught me. Olivia’s face was bright, enthusiastically spreading into a hopeful smile.

  “French test on Thursday,” she exclaimed, hugging me. “Come study with us.”

  “Where?” I returned her hug and looked at Derek.

  I was starting to enjoy Olivia’s hugs. It was like a sister or…best friend. They were warm and brief, while filled with unspoken emotion and acceptance. She had really grown on me and I was beginning to hope I had grown on her too.

  “The Bean, near Third Avenue,” Derek supplied. “It’s the last one before the final. I need to be home by five to coach Little League, so we won’t be there very long.”

  “Come,” Olivia urged as her eyes moved from me to Derek without moving her head. She grabbed my shoulders and softly shook me, attempting to get my attention and annoy me into compliance.

  “Fine,” I groaned. “But no later than seven. I don’t want to cross town alone at night.”

  “Oh,” Derek agreed, “I get it.”

  “I’ll drive you home and pick you up in the morning,” Olivia suggested. “Even if we’re done at five.”

  I nodded, feeling slightly excited to spend time with Olivia and Derek. I hadn’t been thinking at all about the French test later this week. My mind had been on other, less constructive, thoughts.

  “Wait,” I interrupted their exchange that began once I agreed to study with them. “I left my French in my locker. I wasn’t thinking…”

  “We’ll get it with you. No worries, Sophia,” Olivia reassured me and hooked her arm into mine, linking us as we walked with Derek back toward school.

  I glided along with Olivia and Derek, happy to listen to their conversation about our French teacher and what they thought would be on the test. I really didn’t find it all that interesting, but their plethora of memories from a class I’d only been in for almost two weeks contained enough to entertain them while we walked. I had been distracted, eyes fixed to my feet, when I accidentally smashed my face into someone’s hard chest. No.

  “Jesus, Soph! Watch where you’re going!” Jameson snapped, his hands briefly latching to my arms.

  Olivia jumped in, squeezing my hand as if to explain she also had no idea from where his sudden distaste came. He had been walking out of school with Luke, Estelle, and another boy I hadn’t met. Luke nodded toward us as he answered his ringing cell phone—most likely Michelle.

  “I’m sorry?” I barely muttered the words, phrasing them as a question because I wasn’t sure when an accident warranted such a spiteful tone.

  “Just watch it,” Jameson’s enraged voice shriveled to a whisper as he continued walking away with the other three.

  “Um…” Olivia blushed. “Not sure what died in his ass today.”

  We stared at their backs, watching the four of them climb into Jameson and Luke’s cars before quickly squealing from the parking lot. My stomach sunk as it wrapped around itself, tightening into knots. Unaware of the exchange, Derek boldly squeezed between Olivia and I, placing an arm around each of us.

  “If we fail,” Derek sighed with amusement, “we fail together.”

  “Hey…” Olivia punched his chest. “We won’t fail. We have been studying for hours and our grades are fine.”

  I felt happy following Derek and Olivia toward their cars and climbing into Olivia’s Mini. We agreed to meet Derek there, probably so Olivia could have some privacy with me to discuss Owen. Bleh.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  JAMESON

  I hated the way I acted when I last saw Soph. It was this unforgivable feeling hanging over me like a heavy, somber cloud. To see her and Olivia so confused…I was pathetic, really.

  I was growing tired of living this life. I was exhausted by the emptiness required of me; the hollow existence I was destined to live. I thought I was fine playing along a few more years, pretending to be this guy and pretending to be normal or happy…but then Sophia had to come along and ruin it like the vibrantly explosive hurricane she was with her own secrets, her eyes that were like the ocean—deep and haunting, almost as empty as I felt but entirely full. I could stare into those eyes for an eternity, trying to know her and the cause of pain that made those eyes so lost, if God let me.

  Her secrets? I felt broken for Sophia, knowing that she had secrets, especially secrets that she felt paralyzed her so much. They were enigmas; foreign and impossible for me to translate. I needed to fix her. I had to protect her. The innocence in her smile, the way her face flushed whenever I spoke to her…that didn’t happen when Owen or Luke talked to her. She was too perfect to suffer through the world I had been through. That’s exactly my point. That’s why I couldn’t pull her down with me, against me, through this…

  I parked my car along the curb where I saw Luke waiting for me. He was probably texting Michelle, letting her know what I was wearing. God. The poor girl was obsessed with me.

  “Hey, Jamie.” He nodded, stuffing his phone into the front pocket of his jeans. “Owen’s inside.”

  “Hey. Great.” Not really.

  I didn’t feel like hanging out with Luke and Owen. I wanted to be with Sophia. The restaurant was on one of the sleepier streets in the business district, stuffed between tourist shops, travel agencies, and coffee shops. I followed Luke inside to see Owen already paging through the menu. I didn’t have an appetite. I was already thinking about next weekend and it drained my appetite and kept me from sleep. It was only Tuesday night and I was plagued in anticipation of Friday.

  “So I bombed my physics exam,
” Owen groaned. “Now I need to get above an A on the final to pass the class.”

  “Above an A?” Luke laughed, chugging from his glass of water. “Good luck with that one.”

  “Dude.” Owen snapped his stubby fingers inches from my face. Only my eyes rolled toward him. “What is up with you?”

  “Did you know we spent the morning with Estelle?” Luke explained to Owen. “We both need showers after sharing air with her. Exhausting.”

  Right. Estelle was my problem. Wait. Jesus, Sophia. She probably thinks our time last weekend was a mistake…

  “Jamie.” Luke nudged me. “Seriously though. You’re zoned out. What’s up?”

  “Yeah,” I lied, “Let’s order.”

  I forced the sense of nausea from my mind and attempted to eat some French fries and a burger before pretending to enjoy Luke and Owen’s discussion of Owen and Olivia’s newfound relationship. I picked up bits and pieces, but my mind continued to wrestle elsewhere in the moment before we paid the bill and left.

  Awnings were decorated with patriotic lights that hung in different designs. Some of the tourist shops had placed flamingos near their doors, tightly wrapped in red and blue flashing lights. The gaudiness was obnoxious. We were walking back to our cars a few blocks from the restaurant. I was crammed between Owen and Luke, listening to them blab on about Michelle and Olivia while my mind was elsewhere…wondering.

  “Dude,” Luke groaned. “Michelle is driving me nuts about the fall and it’s not even finals week. We have like, what, two months before we need to figure out college.”

  “Sounds rough.” Owen laughed. “Olivia isn’t that clingy yet. I’ll tell you though, when that happens…” Owen shook his head, seeking our support.

  Luke patted his back in encouragement. “We’ll be there for you, bud.”