Noah (More Than Friends Book 2) Page 4

I stood in the doorway, letting Doctor Raji review her notes and thoughts with Avery, knowing this part was personal and private. When Avery’s sobs stifled the soundtrack of her room, I turned from the doorway and leaned against the wall. I wanted to leave, and I didn’t want to go home except for Muffin, but…a pretty lady wanted to marry me, and I didn’t have her number.

  Chapter Five

  What am I doing? It was almost two months, practically a blink, since Callie cheated on me in my own bed, and I never knew what to expect with work. Damn. I wasn’t ready to date. It must have been the emotions, the twisted connection I immediately felt with those people, when part of me was stuck in my past. I know Lizzie was teasing, and her bluntness was fucking hot, but coffee, pets, an electric litter box…it was all so domestic and threatened everything I stood for after stepping foot in my room to see Callie’s porno film.

  I felt disgusting just thinking of that. Poor Muffster, he saw it too. I hoped Silas’s work would’ve cured the anxiety and helped me move on, but even with a new set of black roses painted into my abs, I felt tipped upside down again. This time, though, it wasn’t because of something bad. Well, technically, yes…I met Lizzie because of Avery and Sean, but they were okay. They’re going to be okay. Either way, I was tipped.

  Worried I was a woman one week before her period, I shook myself of the overthinking and promised myself a brownie later. I bit my lip so hard in the hall that I wondered if a piercing would look good, and I planned three more tattoos while I restlessly waited for my brain and heart to take over from my balls. Ella was first to leave the room, and she actually gasped when she noticed me standing in the hall.

  “You surprised me.” She tried to play it cool, but she was too adorable. “Do you need something else from Avery? I can give her your number…” It wasn’t Avery who needed my number. Dammit, balls.

  I pinched my fingers into my traps and looked up at the ceiling for a response. Nothing. I rolled my head down to look at Ella, whose gentle smile was a knife to my chest. I couldn’t involve myself with them. I was too messed up, too busy, too not right. Seeing Ella’s bright eyes actually sparkle with drying tears, I knew I crossed a line. Maybe I just needed new furniture. Maybe I need a new bed. Maybe I need a new apartment.

  “Actually,” I finally answered her, “I need to go.”

  “Oh,” Ella muttered. “Okay, well…Lizzie told us…” Dammit. Blondie and her sway. It wasn’t her fault I found her irresistible after knowing her for literally a minute. It was my fault for the timing, for wearing my heart where anyone could grasp it.

  “I work out of the station on Broom and Dayton,” I informed Ella, her thin eyebrows furrowed. “I’ll be there in a few days.” I tentatively placed a palm around Ella’s left shoulder, catching her eyes wandering to my tattoos, the same lines Lizzie mindlessly traced earlier. “It was really great to meet you, Ella. I hope to see you soon. I have to get back to work.”

  I lied. I lied to the cute little brunette who spent hours reading Avery chapters of some cheesy novel because I was afraid. That’s it, that’s me, the coward with the heart so big it turned around and strangled him. I need a drink.

  ***

  An hour after letting out Muffin, I stood in the middle of the bar with Nadia and Ben. He had updates on the station, but I couldn’t hear much once Nadia ran to me and started trying to take off my shirt. She assured me it was just to see the latest ink Silas told her about, but I never let down my guard entirely with Nadia…even with others around. Nadia was a friend, but I’d known her too long, too well, to trust those hands on my skin.

  “Sweet Jesus,” Nadia roared, her hands clenching the hem of my shirt as she examined my abdomen. “Silas is amazing!”

  “I know,” I agreed, laughing with her. “Stop, that tickles.”

  Nadia took her hands away from my stomach and dropped my shirt back against my body. “Damn, though, Noah. You look good.”

  I rolled my eyes at her and climbed onto a barstool. Ben was drooling over Nadia, and a little too obviously for that matter, as I needed to reach across with a napkin and wipe up his slurp. Nadia pushed a bottle of IPA across the counter to me, ignoring my partner.

  “Nadia,” Ben finally woke from his daydream, swiping my drink as I lifted the bottle to my mouth, “he needs a glass of ice and sparkling water.”

  “Nothing wrong with staying hydrated. I’ll drink the bubbles after my beer.” I grinned, taking the bottle to my mouth. Ben swung a hand at my bicep to get my attention, which was only half present while I chugged my beer.

  “You flaked, dude,” he chastised, “and Nina and I got the shit for it.”

  “You’re fine,” I groaned. “Chief knows all about what happened. Everything’s good,” I lied, omitting the fact I’d been put on leave for three days because Avery’s case was too close to home and, apparently, my chief didn’t think I could handle it in the morning. I couldn’t, though, and it wasn’t just the flashback and trauma; it was what happened after. The girl I couldn’t get out of my mind, the case full of surprises, and the feeling around those strangers…the comfort. Even little doe-eyed Ella stole my heart. I disliked her for that, too. It wasn’t hers to take.

  “When do you get off tonight?” Ben addressed Nadia while she shook a martini, captivated by her chest. I could only roll my eyes and stare at the label I peeled from my second drink while we sat and talked. I didn’t hear Nadia’s reply, and I didn’t care. I didn’t feel like I belonged there, or anywhere in that moment, as the bar filled with rowdy patrons all vying for Nadia’s attention and a cheap drink. I wasn’t feeling it, even an hour later. I just wanted to be home, wherever that was. I needed to let out Muffin, my go-to excuse for avoiding things.

  “You look a little rough, babe,” Nadia shouted across the crowded counter to me, raking her thin fingers through my hair. “You need something else?”

  I looked up at her, catching the wink of her dark eyes beneath layers of shimmering makeup, and I was actually disgusted by her hitting on me. I can’t lie to myself and pretend Nadia and I never happened, but that was college…and a few drunken nights after…but all a lifetime ago. Before Jade, before Callie, before now. It was tempting, and the more she leaned over the counter and I had to pinch my thigh to keep my focus engaged elsewhere, the more I wanted to leave.

  “I’m good, Nadia,” I stated, standing from the bar. “I’m going to the bathroom and then I’m headed home. Keep an eye on Ben.” I left the bar, stumbling through the mob of people some of my partners would likely see later on in the evening, on my way to the back.

  I could hear the boisterous echo of drunkards from inside the bathroom, the sound of which was completely distracting while I tried to pee. When I walked back into the bar, I noticed a crowd of people standing around a series of booths on the opposite end. Nadia was at the bar, shaking her head while laughing and continuing to serve a couple of college kids their rum and Cokes. It was the kiddy cocktail of undergrads, and I was glad to be off the clock tonight. I wasn’t in the mood to rescue anyone suffering from the pukes at the bottom of State Street.

  “Noah,” Nadia called when she saw me, “go rescue Ben. He’s losing.”

  “Losing what?” I reached over the counter for the beer Nadia kept secure while I went to the bathroom and lifted the bottle to my lips. The sweet swig of intoxicant was refreshing; I almost forgot about spending half of my day thinking of losing Jade. Almost. I’ll never forget that, forget her.

  “He’s being drunk under the table,” Nadia chortled, “by some girl. It’s fantastic!”

  “I’m off the clock, Nadia,” I told her, shaking my head. “I’m not—” The crowd shifted as I spoke to Nadia, my words stopping when I caught sight of Ben and his companion. “Holy shit.”

  “Girl can drink!” Nadia cackled behind me, but all I heard was my heart thumping its restless self into my ear drums. I stormed through the gathered crowd, dropping my beer somewhere behind me, feeling all sorts of tense and…protecti
ve? I hadn’t felt that way in years, and it was terrifying.

  I tore Ben’s hand away, causing him to choke a little on the gulp in his mouth, and put my hands on each side of Lizzie’s face. “Lizzie. What are you doing?”

  “Mermaid!” she squealed, obliterated and smashed. “Aren’t you just everyone’s hero?” Her words were slurred, her curls a mess, and her eyes bloodshot. She was the opposite of who I met at the hospital and, with Ben reaching once more for her, I knew I needed to intervene…whatever the consequences. Screw those damn things.

  “A drinking competition,” I bellowed, looking at Lizzie and Ben. “You’re adults.”

  “Sad adults,” Lizzie muttered, hiding behind her glass of beer. My gaze shot to her, my chest thumping. Sad adults.

  “Lonely adults,” Ben added. I loved the guy, but in that moment, I wanted to punch him. I tightened my fingers into a fist, trying to settle the impulse when Lizzie’s hand wrapped around my shoulder and my attention was hers.

  “You can join us if you want, mermaid,” she stood on her tiptoes to speak in my ear, “but you don’t seem to follow through on things, husband.” I was rigid as Lizzie lowered back onto her feet, clinking her glass with Ben’s before taking another swig.

  “Lizzie!” I shouted, taking her hand in mine. “I’ll take you home.”

  “Oh,” she turned to me, her mouth wide with laughter, “that sounds promising, mermaid! But I can’t leave my friend, Billy.”

  “Ben,” he corrected, unphased. “Noah, don’t be a downer. We’re having fun. Go home if you can’t handle it. I’ll keep an eye on this one.” This one? That wasn’t like Ben, and that pissed me off. I squeezed Lizzie’s hand, feeling her fingertips tighten around mine in response, and I knew she was with me.

  I closed the gap between us, our fingers intertwined, and whispered in Lizzie’s ear. “Do you want me to get you out of here?” She nodded against my jaw, and I knew I’d done something right.

  I dropped her beer onto the table behind Lizzie, nudging a shoulder into the crowd once I turned us around, and walked with her to get my coat. I barely acknowledged Nadia and Ben when I returned to the bar, my hand still locked around Lizzie’s. I kept my free hand against the base of her back, ushering us out of the bar and onto the crowded sidewalk.

  “It’s cold,” she groaned at my side. I didn’t reply; I just kept walking with her.

  I didn’t really understand why I felt…angry. I was ashamed of my actions, not hers, and Ben was just an idiot trying to take home the next girl who’d drink him, literally, under the table. One glance at Lizzie through the corner of my eye and I knew, from the way her big blue eyes rolled up too high to really see anything, she was hiding tears, hiding emotions. We waited at the intersection of Mifflin and State, her eyes rolled up and mine burning ahead.

  I noticed the Capitol steps were clear, so when the signal changed, I squeezed Lizzie’s hand and pulled her across the street with me. She followed my cue, although her face scrunched skeptically—I found it utterly amusing—and sat next to me. I twisted my fingers around, listening to Lizzie exhale.

  “What happened tonight?” I probed, lightly nudging her knee with mine. It was a damn freezer outside for early summer, but that didn’t stop us from sitting on the Capitol steps, my heart sewing itself back onto Lizzie’s sleeve.

  “This hot guy came to the hospital.” I didn’t take the bait. She was using me as a scapegoat, and I wasn’t going to let her pull one over on me. She had some serious shit to grieve and work through. I was going to be there for her, waiting it out.

  When Lizzie continued, she dropped her head to my shoulder, and I couldn’t remember the last breath I took. “My best friend is pregnant with twins, and our other friend, who knocked her up and is her partner for life and everything beautiful, was resuscitated. He is such an asshole! He keeps dying, she keeps fixing him, their perfect love keeps fixing them. It’s just not fair. They’re my best friends.”

  “I know who they are,” I tried to reassure her. “You can use their names. Sean. Avery. Ella and Jesse. My favorite,” I rested my head on hers as it balanced against my shoulder, “is Lizzie.”

  “You’re just saying that because I’m drunk.”

  “Well,” I chuckled, “maybe, but I’m also saying it because I mean it. Ella’s too cute, and while Avery’s beautiful, they’re both spoken for. Besides, we’re getting married. I would never be unfaithful to my wife.”

  “Ugh,” she groaned, “who cheats? Who does that cowardly, despicable shit?”

  I rolled my lips inward, thinking of how close to home Lizzie and everything around her really was to me. “My ex.”

  She froze, slowly peeling her head from my shoulder before peeking at me with squinted eyes. “What an evil witch.”

  “Pretty much.” I started to laugh, and it felt incredible. Even while Lizzie stared at me like I’d gone nuts, I was losing it. “She…she was…” I couldn’t finish; the rumble overtook me, catching Lizzie like a contagion as she started laughing with me. I just thought of protecting Muffin’s eyes, the hipster’s skinny jeans, and Callie actually being offended by my reaction. I couldn’t catch my breath as I grieved through laughter. “She was filming—”

  “Oh, don’t even start,” Lizzie blurted, socking me in the side with her elbow. I keeled over, clutching my aching abs while caught between laughter and pain. She wrapped her right arm around my back and, even through our clothes, her touch was something else. It was grounding. Holding my left arm with her free hand, she peered over her knees at me, her face scrunched warily.

  “I count on you to save people, so if you’re hurt, I’m useless,” Lizzie chastised.

  I groaned a little, coming back from laughing while stretching my stomach as I sat. “I got another tattoo this week. It isn’t healed. Your elbow got it like a damn bullseye.”

  Lizzie stood, reaching for my hands to pull me up. I towered over her, but her head fit perfectly below my chin, like a damn puzzle piece. Heart, go away. Balls, where the hell are you? Oh, they were in there. I clenched my jaw to stabilize myself, focusing on the woman across from me as her arms crossed while she eyed me up and down. Lizzie sobered in the cool air, and thankfully so because I didn’t want either of us to forget this time together.

  “What did you get?” she probed, her gaze running from my stomach to my eyes.

  “Bruised abs,” I teased, watching her smile. “Just black roses.”

  “I’m intrigued, mermaid. Where did you go?”

  “Isthmus Ink.” I knew her one day and she had a nickname for me. Granted, it was probably the least masculine and sexy name I could have thought of for myself, but it was her nickname for me and—

  She smacked my stomach again. “I love that place!”

  “Jesus, Lizzie! Stop beating me up!” I walked toward her, wrapping my left arm around her shoulders, guiding us forward. If we stood any longer without moving, talking about our bodies, I might have died. Our bodies…she had tattoos too! Dead.

  “Where are your tattoos, Lizzie?” I had to bite my lip, curiosity threatening the best of my resolve, as Lizzie turned her face to mine and slowly winked.

  She wiggled a thin finger at me, shaking her head admonishingly. “I can’t share that with my friends, Noah,” she taunted. I liked her game. She was captivating, and I didn’t even know her last name. It didn’t matter; I’d find out soon enough. After all, she proposed earlier.

  “We’re getting married,” I playfully reminded her of her flirting gaffe in the hospital. “We’re more than friends, Lizzie.”

  Chapter Six

  We spent two hours walking in the cool, summer air. I only knew it was that long because of the crew change once we passed the fire station on our way around the Capital Square. I couldn’t feel my cheeks or nose. My feet were fine thanks to my boots, but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. I could’ve listened to Lizzie until my bones froze, and then I’d ask her to keep talking. I didn’t tell her we passed my in
tersection three times. I didn’t want to go home. I figured out her last name eventually, and even her middle name, although she made me promise to never call her Elizabeth Jacqueline Lewis.

  She didn’t shut up, and it was comforting. It wasn’t like Callie, where the conversation was always about her, an obvious red flag I didn’t catch in time. In time. Why was I even comparing Callie to anyone? Lizzie didn’t deserve that insult. While we waited for the crossing signal, I thought of Muffin and how he probably left a nice present for me on the living room floor. I didn’t plan on being out so long, but once I told Muffin, I was sure he’d understood what kept me.

  “I’m really glad you found me tonight,” Lizzie admitted, slowly stopping our pace as she shuffled her feet. “I went home after dinner. It was pathetic. Maybe I shouldn’t have left Avery and Sean, but his mom was there, and it was just too much.”

  “How is Sean?” Lizzie looked up at me in response, and I saw the tears threaten her eyelids. It was miserable. I wanted to wrap her up and make it stop.

  “Alive,” she whimpered, her lips tightening as she tried to resist a sob. “I have to work in the morning, and everyone else can go spend their day at the hospital. It just all piled up. It’s been half a year…” Her words broke off into the sob, Lizzie no longer able to contain it.

  “What’s been half a year?” When she didn’t reply, occupied wiping her sniffles and tears, I wrapped my arms around her, holding Lizzie against me. It was brazen, but she’d also proposed after ten minutes of barely knowing me. I learned a lot in my training, primarily how far a welcomed embrace could go.

  “Can I hug you, Lizzie?” I whispered into her hair, feeling her calm within my arms.

  “Yeah.” She took a shaky breath before spilling more against my chest. “He’s been sick since fall and was supposed to be okay from his surgery over New Year’s and his treatment, but now this.”