Nowhere Girl (Foundlings Book 1) Read online

  “I have panic attacks.”

  “I know.”

  “Well…and it’s really hard for me to make friends because I generally dislike people.”

  She giggled at me, reassuring me that she thought I was nuts, but in the most affectionate and endearing way possible.

  “People suck. Especially guys,” she agreed. “What else?”

  “Um. I sort of…well…Jameson came over a few days ago…” I glanced at her through my eyelashes, hoping to briefly catch her supportive eyes.

  “Ha!” She choked on her coffee as she laughed. “You know what Michelle would say about that. ‘Nobody dates Jameson Burke.’”

  “It isn’t like that though.” My hands defensively waved around me. “Not at all.”

  “Sophia.” She looked up at me, scrutinizing me. “It is. You’re blind. They all think you’re a gem. What happened? Wait. You don’t need to tell me. I don’t need to know. But just know that if there is something, hypothetically, that you might want to tell me…hypothetically…I’m here for you.”

  “Thanks for understanding. Hypothetically.”

  “Wow though. Right?” She giggled, sipping from her coffee and smiling at a distant thought.

  I shrugged. That’s all I would tell her. I owed it to Jameson or whatever it was we had for a fleeting second, in privacy, to keep our time between us. As hesitant as I always felt to give away pieces of my puzzle, the gargantuan weight of Jameson on my heart was moved, not really lifted, when I talked to Olivia. It felt…okay. Better. Nice?

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  I was visibly uncomfortable in my yellow dress. The straps were too skinny, almost non-existent, and the neckline plunged beyond my comfort level. Jules bought it. What was she thinking?

  “She probably wants to show you off.” Michelle grinned at my reflection in the mirror.

  I had been struggling to pull my neckline up as we stood in front of a mirror in one of Simon’s guest rooms.

  “Meh,” I groaned, unsuccessful with my attempted alterations.

  I crossed my arms—too much cleavage—and uncrossed, unsure of where to place my awkwardly dangling arms.

  “You didn’t dress up for parties and stuff in Oregon?” Olivia questioned, bobby pins sticking between her lips as she finished Michelle’s hair.

  I shook my head in response, beginning to wander around the room. Simon had a four-bedroom condo—on the beach. Meanwhile, his girlfriend lived in a hippy shed near the beach, but that was probably worth just as much. In Oregon, my mom and I lived in a small house that matched the neighborhood—no frills, just a cozy craftsman that suited our needs. We weren’t wealthy by any means. She had withdrawn her insignificant savings before she…

  “Well,” Michelle distracted my thoughts. “I think you look hot, Sophia.”

  “Yep. You’ll make all those rich guys freak out.” Olivia erupted in laughter. “Maybe find a respectable husband!”

  “Oh my god.” I gagged. “You’re disgusting. Simon’s friends are like forty. Don’t be gross. Now I need a turtleneck.”

  “They don’t sell those here.” Michelle winked, stepping away from the mirror. She was poured into a short white dress with randomly sewn eyelets and a sweetheart neckline. Olivia had styled Michelle’s thick hair into a French braid, pulled tightly against her scalp.

  “Can we go now?” Olivia questioned, glancing between Michelle and me.

  I nodded, stepping back toward them and opening the bedroom door. As we walked down the hall and toward the sounds of middle-aged people after three-too-many glasses of wine, I noticed Jules eagerly waving at me. Her thin frame was decorated with a strapless violet dress that stopped at her knees. An enormous amethyst and diamond pendant rested against her chest, sparkling with reflected light with each movement she made.

  “Girls,” she called for us, but grabbed my wrist. “Sophia!”

  “Hi.” My cheeks were blushing, too aware of impending socialization and my dress.

  Simon was deep in conversation with a man and woman who stood across from Jules. The man was not much older than Simon, but certainly better looking. His brown hair was combed back, revealing the highlight of his face in his bright blue eyes. He occasionally scratched the stubble along his cheeks while he spoke to Simon. The woman at his side was frozen with a smile, obviously delighted in their conversation. Her short ebony bob bounced with each voluminous laugh that belted from her dainty throat.

  “Honey,” Jules nudged Simon, who was catching his breath from laughing so hard at the other man. “Introduce Sophia.”

  “Sophia.” Simon smiled proudly at me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “I want you to meet Judge Thomas Kerry and his wife Elizabeth. I believe you know their nephew.”

  Oh, my god, Simon. Why are you doing this to me? My eyes bugged, looking to Jules for help, but her smile only widened.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” I reached out for their hands.

  Judge Kerry curtly nodded, his face slightly hardening as he politely shook my hand.

  “We’ve heard a lot about you. Haven’t we, Elizabeth?”

  “Sure have.” His wife squeezed my hand. “You’re all Simon and Julesie talk about.”

  Oh. Them. I’m sure my blush spread so far along my cheeks that I looked more like a rash-stricken child than the young adult in a pretty yellow dress. I knew my face was morphing into all possible shades of pink and red while Judge Kerry and his wife analyzed me. His eyes were piercing. They cut right through your soul in one miniscule glance. I understood entirely what Simon meant about his persona without even interacting with him; just a mere glimpse would kill someone.

  “She spent some time with Jameson a few weekends ago. He and Sydney’s daughter went to the beach,” Jules continued, embarrassing me, “Who else was there, ma chère?”

  “Michelle, Luke, and Owen.” I neglected Mark because then I’d have to remember he was there and…was I supposed to tell them how Jameson saved me from that pervert? I continued rambling in a fit of discomfort, trying to evade further scrutiny from Jameson’s aunt and uncle.

  “It was lovely to meet you.” I respectfully bowed my head and stepped away, knowing that eyes were burning into my slightly-exposed back as I silently retreated. Olivia and Michelle lingered nearby, observing the entire interaction.

  “Whoa,” Michelle mouthed.

  “He’s still…glaring? He’s glaring at you, Sophia.” Olivia giggled in shock, covering her mouth as she spoke and failed in her attempts to avoid Judge Kerry’s eyes. “What the heck?”

  “Beats me.” I shrugged. “Let’s go outside.”

  “But for real.” Michelle was now laughing. “Why is Jamie’s uncle trying to get us in a stare down? He must be shocked that Jamie has such hot friends and hasn’t tried to date any of them.”

  “Ha,” I blurted, attempting to cover up my laughter with a cough.

  Olivia glanced at me, full of suspicion, and then winked. She knew too much without being told. She was going to be the end of me.

  We scuttled through the crowd and out the patio door leading to the small stretch of beach in the back of Simon’s condo. He had a private fenced area that was lined with palm trees and led to a sandy shoreline. He paid for the trees to be lit by red, white, and blue lights in honor of Memorial Day. I could only imagine the lengths these people went to for Independence Day.

  Some of Simon’s friends were lingering near the door, but none had yet ventured to the beach, so the three of us skipped toward a spot as secluded as possible. I stopped to peel the silver sandals from my feet, holding their straps between my fingers as I followed my friends.

  Michelle, Olivia, and I were sprawled on the sand, our heads almost meeting in a point, as we stared at the sparkling sky. A soft breeze danced through the palms, tickling our skin.

  “This is ruining my dress,” I teased.

  “Yeah, but your boobs look great,” Michelle giggled, turning her head toward me.

  �
��Those people are so obnoxious.”

  “Olivia, your dad is in there,” Michelle reminded her. “And so are my parents.”

  “My point exactly.”

  “Hey,” Luke called from the patio door, announcing his presence for Michelle. She barely lifted her head, which was unusual for her in response to Luke.

  “What’s wrong?” I questioned, concerned with her lack of impulse to jump on top of Luke and force us all to vomit over their affection toward one another. She let out an irritated sigh and lifted herself against her elbows as she replied.

  “We’re in a fight. He brought up college the other night and we haven’t been the same since.”

  “I’m sorry, Michelle,” Olivia exhaled. “Boys suck.”

  “True statement.” Michelle giggled, rising to her feet, “But I’ll be right back.”

  She left Olivia and I on the sand, and Olivia nestled against my side in Michelle’s absence.

  “So,” she whispered, rolling onto her stomach to keep lookout while talking to me, “What’s the real reason you were forced into meeting them?”

  “Jameson’s people?”

  “Who else? Yes. Spill, sister.” She blushed with excitement. “I mean…I don’t want to pressure you.”

  “He’s such a jerk,” I blurted, squeezing my eyes in painful closure, as I knew my words were dispelled with great exasperation. Olivia’s face was bright with a wide grin when I returned to her eager cobalt gaze.

  “Are we talking about it?”

  “No.”

  “Okay.” She nodded and our silence returned. We could hear the party as the sound of happiness and laughter flooded out to us on the beach.

  “It’s just that I’m an anomaly to people here and everyone needs to know about me and I hate that.”

  “Are we talking about Jameson here…?”

  “Why can’t people just leave me alone?”

  “He isn’t leaving you alone? Wait. Me? Do you need me to leave you alone? Am I not giving you enough space?”

  “It isn’t you, Olivia. You’re in my bubble now. It’s too late. There’s no hope for you.”

  “Ah.” Her forehead rested against mine as she giggled. “Then we’ll be lost causes together.”

  My laugh couldn’t be stopped and my gates opened with Olivia. I told her how Jameson had talked with me when we all went to the beach, which she knew because she had eyes, and how he came over, but was also a huge jerk at school. However, she got the mild version in which not even the secrets I discussed with Jameson were divulged. It was more like she had the basic idea—he was indecisive and it was rude.

  “He is such a bastard,” she grumbled. “How can he go back and forth so much?”

  I rolled over on my belly to join Olivia’s posture and view the patio door, waiting for Michelle to return.

  “I don’t know,” I whined, embarrassed to have even discussed anything about it. Olivia placed her hand atop mine and she began grinning mischievously.

  “Well…” She giggled. “We’re going shopping because when that jerk comes home from wherever he goes, he’s going to rue the day he ever snapped on you.”

  “No. I don’t want to be like that. That isn’t me. I don’t want attention for anything.”

  “You’re getting it though.” She shrugged, smug in her known correctness. Michelle and Luke barreled out of the condo, running toward us in a fit of laughter.

  “What the hell happened to you two?” Olivia grumbled.

  “Owen and Derek are here.” Michelle’s eyebrows lifted in excitement. “We told them to meet us back here.”

  Olivia and I exchanged glances, both annoyed at the addition to our company even if one of them was her boyfriend. Michelle discreetly pointed to my chest, reminding me that lying on my stomach wasn’t the best match for the neckline of this dress. What the heck, Jules? Owen and Derek joined us shortly after Michelle and Luke bombarded my time with Olivia.

  “No Jamie?” Owen questioned, cracking open a can of soda and slurping up the shaken explosion of bubbles that erupted from it.

  “He’s not in town,” Luke informed him. “Give me one of those, man.”

  Owen passed another can toward Luke, whose arm was securely around Michelle’s waist as they sat next to us on the sand. I guess their fight is over.

  “Hey…” Derek nestled next to Olivia and smiled at us. “Thanks for letting us crash. It’s nice to see you guys outside of school.”

  “You’re welcome any time.” I politely smiled. “Anything we can do to avoid stuffy people is perfect. The more the merrier.”

  Olivia’s eyes reached mine, full of skepticism. Of course I was lying, but now that the party around me was getting bigger and Jameson was still a topic of conversation, I had nothing left to worry about.

  “Smile,” Owen directed, reaching his arm out in front of us, extending it to capture the six of us in one frame on his cell phone. “Ah, good looking group of kids. I’m sending this to everyone I know.”

  “Please don’t,” Michelle moaned.

  “Too late.” Owen wiggled his phone in the air, grinning wildly. I just hoped he hadn’t caught a suggestive angle of my dress.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  JAMESON

  Therapy was an excruciating process sometimes. I had to graduate, and I felt I was ready. Better yet, I needed to graduate.

  My panic attacks were tolerable and under control. I was communicating with and pretending to be the nephew of Thomas and Elizabeth. I had complied with my end of the bargain and needed to be free. My body was beginning to ache from within, prepared to break from this dramatization.

  I was waiting for Dr. Edwards to open his laptop, where he could compulsively take notes about my progress in therapy to report to concerned members of the glorious United States legal system, when my phone buzzed in my pocket.

  “Plans, Jameson?” He eyed me as I reached for the device, unlocking my screen to view the message.

  “What the hell,” I moaned, studying the picture from Owen. Dr. Edwards cleared his throat, attempting to get my attention.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Look.” I held the phone toward him, allowing him to handle it and study the picture. “Those are my friends. That’s what they’re doing right now while I’m here.”

  “I recognize them from your other pictures, but not those two.”

  Dr. Edwards pointed to Sophia and Derek, whose head was pressed against Sophia’s. It was pressed against her face. He casually returned my phone and I was transfixed, even mesmerized by the image. It buzzed twice more, informing me of two new photograph messages from Luke this time.

  “Go on,” Dr. Edwards encouraged, a suspicious smile on his bearded face.

  I looked. Dammit. She was stunning. Beautiful. I’d never seen her in something so revealing, but that wasn’t even what attracted me to her image. It was the aura around her that called to me. In the first picture from Luke, everyone was standing and squeezing in to fit into the picture. The second picture was of Olivia, Michelle, and Sophia standing on the beach. They were all dressed up, done up, looking like strangers, but I still preferred the real Sophia. The clumsy girl who had walked into me at least three times, who I knew watched me from the corner of her eye during class, and who fell asleep against my chest and had no idea I spent the entire night awake to be sure I could help her if her panic set in.

  “Sophia.”

  “That’s a beautiful name.”

  “Beautiful girl.”

  “Does she know about you?”

  “No.” I grimaced and stuffed the phone back into the pocket of my jeans. My attention was finally directed at Dr. Edwards, who studied me with suspicion through his impassive expression.

  “What?”

  “It’s been two years with me,” he reminded me, “and I’ve never seen you like this. How do you feel right now?” Like I want to break Derek’s face.

  “Fine.”

  “Jameson.” He laughed. “You�
��re far from fine. Your posture has stiffened. You’re twitching your leg. Kid, you’re biting your nails right now.”

  I pulled my index finger from my mouth, beginning to gnaw on my cheek instead.

  “Jameson, I’d like to talk about this. About her. What makes Sophia so significant to you that you shift so drastically in your seat right now?”

  “She’s an enigma.”

  “An enigma,” he repeated in a sigh, as if tasting my descriptive term and deciding if the flavor was acceptable.

  “I’ve only known her for a couple weeks. She’s mysterious and complex, but it is more than just a game of needing to know for my own benefit. I need to know for her. She has this smile, Dr. Edwards, that just…and these eyes. I could just…”

  “Uh huh,” he responded, his few sounds encouraging me to continue.

  “But I’m torturing myself because I can’t let anything come from this infatuation. That’s all it is.”

  “Says who?”

  “Thomas.” I snarled at the thought of Thomas’s efforts to persuade me to avoid Sophia or to stop my infatuation, but in my deepest of hearts I knew it was more…so much more.

  “You can’t let anything come from it,” he thought aloud, repeating my defense. “You don’t think she would understand you? Understand your past?”

  “She would. I know she would, but the most evil thing I could do is burden someone as pure as Sophia with my history.”

  “How do you know hers is as pure as you think?”

  “Because of how delicate she is. She has had some shit happen to her, for sure, and she has been traumatized, but—”

  “How do you know?” he cut me off.

  “She told me.”

  “How’d that happen?”

  I shrugged. “We spent the night together and she told me about her nightmares. Well, sort of. She told me she has them. Her mom died and that’s why she’s in Florida.”

  “Hold on.” His posture shifted as he leaned over his crossed leg, toward me. “You spent the night together?”